I genuinely don't understand why people can't agree to disagree and still be cordial.
I mean like I get it but I don't get it. Ya know?
This pandemic has seriously divided people and it's really sad. Some people are comfortable with a mask. Some people are comfortable without a mask. Some people are comfortable getting the vaccine. Some people aren't comfortable getting the vaccine. Some people have been directly affected by the virus itself. Some people haven't been affected at all.
And then there's the madness that is politics right now. Some people are far left. Some people are far right. Some people are extremists. Some people are moderate. Some people choose to ignore it. Some people do extensive research. Some people haven't read a single headline. Some people hate it altogether.
I have very close personal friends who have complete opposite views as I have on both Covid and politics (I'm not a huge political buff but I still have my views). One of these friends is someone I have been close with for over 20 years, and I am fortunate to say we can have a discussion about our opinions on the topic, respect each other's views, and still remain close. My own parents have opposing views to mine when it comes to Covid comfortability, and that's also okay. Is it always easy? Definitely not. I hate having to ask my own mother to mask up when she comes into my house. But she does it and we still love each other after and life still goes on.
Why does there have to be so much hate just because someone doesn't share the same views and opinions as you? I know this is a topic that has been visited and revisited, but I think we need to keep revisiting it until it starts to make a difference.
If someone doesn't agree with you, let that be okay. You don't HAVE to make everyone agree with you. That's part of the beauty of being human and having certain freedoms; we don't all have to agree but we can still achieve and accomplish things amongst our disagreements.
A major part of the problem is that people listen to respond instead of listening to hear what the other person is saying. Have a mature conversation with someone and actually try to understand why they feel a certain way rather than trying to spend the entire conversation trying to convince them why they're wrong. There doesn't HAVE to be a right and wrong when it comes to how someone feels, which is another part of the problem. People get so caught up in their emotions and why they feel a certain way and they become so desperate to emphasize their point. And while there is nothing wrong with being passionate about how you might feel, it's important to remember that literally everyone else also has things they feel just as strongly about, and it might be the exact opposite of your views.
I want you to ask yourself something. Seriously, if you've made it this far down the page then just humor me, and ask yourself this question: Why is it important that everyone agrees with me?
Now, truly think about your answer. If you are the type that gets pissed when you can't make someone agree with you or see your point of view, why does it make you angry? Why do you not allow yourself to genuinely hear and understand what the other person is saying? Will it physically harm you to be more open-minded and maybe a little more cognizant of someone else's opposing feelings? I would be willing to bet that the person you're thinking of is equally frustrated when speaking to or arguing with you about the same topics.
If you're thinking to yourself that you get mad because the other people won't listen either and it frustrates the everliving shit out of you, then keep reading.
This is where it's time for you to make the first move and be the bigger person. I know from personal experience that it is so hard to do this (like for real it's beyond maddening at times, I'm not even going to lie) and you will have to swallow some pride and that pride definitely ain't gonna taste good going down, but if you can make the first efforts in trying to understand how that person feels, you may be surprised (in a good way) at how they react. Letting someone know and feel that they are being heard tends to let some guards down and increase vulnerability a little. If you give them the floor and just say "hey I want to understand" then you might have the beginning of a healthy conversation. More often than not, people don't listen because they themselves feel like they're not being heard.
Be the one who listens more and talks less. Start a new trend with yourself and others.
It feels really good when people give a shit how you feel. Say I'm wrong! If you can listen first, the odds are high that you will have your turn to talk and be understood. And you and the other person still may not have the same views, even after understanding each other, and you have to let that be okay. I definitely have topics I just choose to not discuss with certain people because I just know the conversation won't go well due to our very opposing opinions. And that's okay. They aren't a bad person for feeling differently and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We would be in such a better place if more people respected and actually practiced this concept. Be open to ideas and healthy debates while remaining cordial, and keep in mind the other person is also human.
If you have made it all the way to here, then I have faith that you can make this change. Think about the potential ripple effect this can have if people actually start doing it! Try it out and encourage others to do the same. And if you need it, I'm happy to help out and talk about this more. Let me know how it goes!
Cheers!
- The Whiskey Mom
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